CORGI Corporation: The financial tech startup that will change the world
Here at CORGICorporation, we are dedicated to empowering our clients by providing them with the financial services and technology they need to succeed. Our flagship product, the CORGI (Collateral Obligation Relative to Growth Investment), continues to help people throughout the world attain financial independence. Our tech division, CyberCorgi, continues to accelerate our business side by providing fully scalable, integrated, end-to-end cloud-based architecture solutions.
- Is this a pyramid scheme?
- We prefer the term "Triangle of Success," but no. If it were, it would make money
- Is this an MLM?
- Please navigate to https://isthisanmlm.com/ and type in CorgiCorporation. Checkmate, mlm finder
- What does this have to do with corgis?
- CORGI is an abbreviation. I was not aware it was also a type of dog until someone in our HR department brought it up
- Is this a real company?
A portfolio section is coming soon! We have yet to launch our first product, but when we do it will definitely be here (it's just commented out right now)
Collateral Obligation Relative to Growth Investment (CORGI)
The CORGI is a blanket of toxic loans packaged together so confusingly, government agencies had no choice but to collectively assign it a AAA rating. No one can make money on a CORGI alone, so the goal is to have everyone buy CORGIs as quickly as possible. This will cause the value to go up, at which point the goal is to unload CORGIs as quickly as possible.
There is absolutely no incentive for this company to involve itself with cryptocurrency, other than the fact that it gives us the ability to add the hashtag to our social media. Seriously, there is no practical reason for us to launch our own cryptocurrency. But here we are.
CyberCorgi is the only division in our entire company that might actually make products. One day. Maybe. For the time being, we are mostly just relying on seed funding we made off of a single barely functioning demo that we pretended worked better than it actually did. Investors rejected us, so we resorted to asking random people on the street. Our entire staff is underpaid, our burndown chart has no burn at all, and at this point we're basically just winging it.
We have zero customers, zero revenue, and zero daily active users. We invented nothing, have no patents,and are currently aimed precisely at 0% of the market. We don't even have business degrees. This company is a massive dumpster fire aboard a train that is not even heading off of a cliff...that would be too exciting, and would imply the train operates on some sort of fuel and has some sort of engineered mechanism by which it may plummet off the aforementioned cliff. We are more like a barely functioning drawing of a tricycle that isn't going anywhere.
Check our Team
Curt CorginiaChief Executive Officer
Curt CorginiaHR Director
Curt CorginiaLead Web Developer
Curt CorginiaChief Technology Officer
Curt CorginiaDirector of Human Resources
Curt CorginiaSoftware Engineer I
I didn't get paid enough to make this website
Obviously the best thing to do would have been to use a framework myself, but then I kept messing around with the Bootstrap Grid and I could not, for the life of me, figure it out. I had to resort to adding 1 to try to center stuff, then doing it again, and again and again until I discovered that wasn't the proper way.
Happy Clients None. CorgiCorporation has no happy clients
Projects We are only counting the projects that aren't complete failures
Years of experience Let this all be a sick dream
Ceo & Founder
My tech company was making a healthy profit, and our tech was working very well. Then I randomly opened Reddit to a random page on TechCrunch, which convinced me that I needed to take a bunch of random technologies I didn't understand or the company would collapse. That's why I use CORGICorporation.
There I was, a confused and emotionally vulnerably millennial, coming out of college with a degree I could not find a job in and roughly $120,000 in student loans. That's when my friends told me about CORGICorporation, an unregulated and predatory corporate entity that sought to exploit my unshakable belief that things would work out so that I could either be scammed or scam my friends and family.
I don't know anything about finance, let alone the stock market, but Google has been sending me tons and tons of ads convincing me that I should invest my stimulus check in cryptocurrency and options, instead of on groceries and rent. I am so glad I discovered CORGICorporation! Now I can treat this basket of virtual stocks like tinder, and use it to light a small fire to keep myself warm in the tiny cardboard box that is now my home.
The word "cloud" basically just means Internet. I think. I really don't know, and it's way too late to ask, so whenever people get really excited about technology I just ask them what products they have and then rush to buy the same thing. I am a mindless drone incapable of thinking for myself. My personality has long since been rewritten by the various targeted algorithms that convince me that the cure for my profound loneliness and depression is not meaningful relationships or giving back to the community, it's purchasing wireless earbuds.
I am an engineer over the age of 30, meaning the other kids at work treat me like some sort of dinosaur who is incapable of writing modern code because I didn't read article #6 on hackernews explaining how I would be irrelevant because some new programming paradigm would put everyone who didn't hop on the bandwagon out of work. Just imagine my excitement when I learned about CyberCorgi, yet another collection of completely worthless products that we have no need for.
1525 Mewni Street, Corginia, California 90001
+1 5555 55555 55s